


i lie awake and miss you (my comfort blanket)

by trappedoutside124



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve and Tony can't sleep, Stony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:02:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trappedoutside124/pseuds/trappedoutside124
Summary: After the events of infinity war, both Tony and Steve have trouble sleeping. They decide to help each other with that.





	i lie awake and miss you (my comfort blanket)

Tony had always dealt with insomnia. It was one of his vices; sleep never came easy to him. Even before Thanos and what happened on Titan, Tony had nightmares that seemed so vividly real that he would avoid sleep at all cost just to avoid them. 

After getting back from Titan, it only got worse. 

What was left of the Avengers headed back to the compound. Natasha flew to Japan to find Clint and Thor had left with Rocket to search for any Asgardians that survived Thanos' attack. The rest of them went to the compound to regroup and mourn. 

The minute he got back, Tony knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not only had he lost Peter, but upon landing in Wakanda with Nebula Rhodes had revealed to him that Pepper was missing too. The idea of sleep and seeing them die all over again in his nightmares made Tony's stomach flip; he couldn't bear it. So, he did what he did best:

He tinkered. 

With bags under his eyes, he locked himself away in the workshop, building new suits for Rhodes and himself, a new shield for Steve, new weapons for Natasha, new arrows for Clint. He focused on the wiring and the engineering of it all; the steadiness of the facts kept him grounded. All night he stayed there, only taking naps for an hour or two before waking up with tears in his eyes. On the rare occasion he dreamed a dream instead of a nightmare, he woke up crying just as hard; it was always about Peter, or Pepper, or Strange. They left him feeling empty when he woke up and they weren't there. 

He'd never tell his friends about his sleeping problems; he didn't want to worry them. They were dealing with just as much stuff as him. However, he had no idea that Steve Rogers was having the exact same problem. 

Before the Wakandan battle, Steve had very few problems sleeping. He was a heavy sleeper, which was useful when he was staying in close quarters with Natasha and Sam; sometimes, the three of them would have to share a bed, bumping elbows and knocking into each other as they tried to get comfortable. When he did have a nightmare, it was about two things: when he first lost Bucky to HYDRA, and when he left Tony in Siberia. 

Sam was always there to help him through it. He would let Steve rant to him about the nightmares while Natasha made tea for all of them. Now, Sam was gone and Natasha was in Japan. 

Bucky, his best friend, had died right in front of him. 

Now, every time he closed his eyes, he saw the battle. He saw Vision dying. He saw Bucky reaching out for him. He saw himself losing the people he loved. When Tony arrived in Wakanda, Steve felt like a piece of him was back; he hadn't lost everyone after all. However, the two hadn't talked much. The events of Siberia were still pressed into their minds, making communication hard. 

Like Tony, Steve worked when he couldn't sleep. He would stay up doing hundreds of pushups and sit-ups, go run for miles around the compound, or go the compound's training room and run drills until he could barely breathe. One night, he was walking past Tony's room towards the training room, sleep still evading him. As he crept past, he heard a yell. 

Peeking his head in, he saw that Tony was laying on the bed, shaking. For the first night in three weeks, Tony had attempted to sleep. At the moment, he was having a nightmare. 

"Peter! Don't!" he yelled again, thrashing. Dropping his gym bag, Steve walked into the room and closed the door. Carefully, he put a hand on Tony's shoulder and shook. 

"Tony? Wake up Tony." he whispered. Tony's eyes shot open and in a flash called his armor to his hand, aiming for Steve and breathing hard. 

"Whoa, whoa! It's me! It's Steve!" he yelled, jumping backwards. As Tony's eyes focused, he saw Steve in front of him and lowered his hand, the armor receding. He rubbed a hand over his face. 

"Sorry, sorry. I was having a nightmare," he breathed, still sweaty and freaked out. Steve stepped closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"I can't sleep either, you know," he whispered, looking at the ground. "I keep seeing their faces, turning to dust in front of me," he choked out. 

"I have one where I see Peter and Pepper standing at the end of a road, and when I try running to them I can't seem to get anywhere. And then I'm screaming to try to get their attention, but they keep walking away from me and I can't--" Tony started to breathe hard again, panic rising in him. 

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you're awake now," Steve soothed, putting a hand on Tony's ankle. The two of them sat in silence for a minute, not knowing what to say. Steve eventually stood up and picked his gym bag off the floor. "Well, I guess I'll head to the training room now." 

"Wait," Tony said, reaching a hand out. "If you want, you can stay." Steve looked at the man, an eyebrow raised. Tony just stared back. "Look, I don't mean you have to cuddle me or anything,"

"I didn't think you meant that--"

"I just think it might make it easier for us to sleep." 

Steve stared at him for a minute before dropping his gym bag again, kicking it to the foot of the bed. He crawled onto the side of the bed Tony didn't occupy, slipping under the covers, careful to leave space between him and Tony. Silence crept over the room. Both men faced the ceiling, Tony with his arms at his sides and Steve with his over his head. 

"Hey Tony?"

"Yeah, Rogers?"

"I'm sorry. For everything."

Tony turned his head to look at the man next to him. "I'm sorry too." 

The only sound in the room was the soft rush of the air conditioner overhead. 

"Well, good night Cap," said Tony, turning over to face the wall.

"Night, Stark," Cap replied, facing the opposite way. 

For the first time in weeks, Steve and Tony slept through the night. They didn't dream, but they didn't have nightmares either. 

A full eight hours later, Steve opened his eyes. Confusion overtook him at first before he remembered he was in Tony's room. He realized that sometime during the night, the men had edged closer to each other in the bed, facing each other. Tony had his arms curled underneath him, his chest rising and falling evenly. Steve watched the man and tried not to move in fear of waking him up. He was close enough to hear Tony's deep breathing. He saw the bruise on Tony's eye, the deep scratch on his cheek that would most definitely scar. , 

After that night, it became a routine for Tony and Steve to help each other sleep. Sometimes, Tony would stay up in his workshop. Steve would pull a makeshift cot into it, falling asleep to the sound of Tony's tools clicking and whirring. When Steve couldn't fight the urge to train, Tony would take a pillow and a blanket and fall asleep one of the the couches outside the room, hearing the muffled sounds of Steve hitting the punching bag. Slowly, they began to talk to each other more. Their witty banter started up again. Tony teasing Steve, Steve rolling his eyes and sarcastically responding. Rhodes noticed and didn't say anything, happy that his friend was smiling again. 

Of course, the nightmares were still there. When Tony would wake up with a start, he would find Steve with a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. When Steve fell asleep only to wake up with Bucky's name in his mouth, Tony would be there with a glass of water and a comforting word. Their routine wasn't perfect, but it wasn't so bad either. 

They didn't talk about Siberia. They rarely talked about Titan or Wakanda. But they didn't have to. 

For now, just having this comfort blanket, this comforting presence, was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this fic at 3 AM and had to write it down!


End file.
